i'm going to try something new - someone once told me to write when i can; to "time" myself. to put down what comes out when i have a limited amount of time, like while i'm waiting for the laundry. since it's twenty-to-seven, i've got twelve minutes while my fishsticks finish cooking.
i guess i'll start with the basics - i still love being a mom. i never really ever thought i would be so good at it, but i am. i enjoy it too (most of the time). he;s still not crawling and he still doesn't have any teeth, but i'm trying to let things happen on their own - they normally do, whether i worry or not. or maybe my worries are just being occupied with other things - now that i have cable, i've been watching the news... a lot... not a very good idea, but really, what else is on basic cable? not a whole lot...some new crazy flu ("swine" - yes - as in "pigs") is going around. it originated in mexico, and has now spread to the u.s.a., canada, and some european countries. and for some fucked-up reason, the w.h.o. and governing bodies are still allowing air travel to and from mexico! i mean, if it's as bad as they're making it out to be, halt all fucking air travel - i don't want my son to get sick! so, i'm thinking we may become hermits (well, more so than we already are, i mean).
i've only got a minute less - this exercise didn't work out as well as i thought it would. but, at least i wrote something... maybe as the weather gets nicer, things will get easier...

i'm going to start making more of a conscious effort to get on here and write... honestly, i'm at the point where i don't even care if it's good... i know i just have to start again. maybe writing is like working out or dieting - it gets easier the longer i keep at it. unfortunately, i haven't started exercising or dieting, but i fully intend to... seriously, i do...
so, joey's sleeping after a long afternoon of shopping. i managed to pick up a couple of things for myself, but of course, bought him a lot more than i intended to. he's growing, if not grown, out of everything (which, i assume, is common). i remember when i first had him and i was opening gifts at my babyshower - everything looked so big... i couldn't ever imagine him fitting into 3/4 of the clothes people bought him. now, well, it's laughable.

in exactly one week, i will be turning 28-years-old. considering 28 is an age i never thought i would reach (due to my infatuation with people batting for the 27-team), it seems a bit odd to consider where i actually am in my life.
for starters, a bunch of friends (that's another thing - i had no idea i have so many friends. and i don't mean just "friends-who-just-want-to-use-your-birthday-as-an-excuse-to-get-drunk-friends"... i mean actual friends - people who want to hang out with me!) and myself are going out for supper. before joey, supper wouldn't have been an option - too much food would have sopped up the alcohol i was scheduled to consume. i am so anxious, though! mandy is watching joey, and don't get me wrong - i trust her with all i've got when it comes to him. it's just that he falls asleep with me every night, and i'm afraid he'll wind up crying himself to sleep or something else equally terrible. not that no child has ever done that, and not like i would have to turn myself into c.a.s. or anything - i just don't like the thought of him being unhappy - even for a second. although, in regards to that, i can now listen to him cry (well, not really cry - more or less whine loudly) for at least a whole minute without breaking into tears myself. huge improvement!
so anyways, i don't intend on getting drunk - at all. i can think back to my birthday last year when i was pregnant and remember saying how wasted i was going to get this year... funny how things turn out. i know i'm going to come home at a half-assed decent hour, and i know i'm going to be super excited to see the little guy. he's just starting to have separation anxiety (which is nicer than you may think - it slightly quells my fears of him being autistic... slightly) , whereas i've been having it for, oh, almost nine months (and for those of you who don't know, his nine month birthday is the 23rd... of this month...). so, i've had this sick, biley-taste in my mouth for about the past week. hopefully it's not heartburn - i had enough of that when i was pregnant.

in other news, joe has a brother. weird - very weird. i feel like i've been living in a soap opera for the past few weeks... he's a really nice guy, though, and his family (well, i guess our family too) is amazing! it's strange how well we fit together - it's like they've been around since the beginning...

i would write more, but joe, joey and hotrod are already in bed... it's nice i actually got a chance to write something though...